


What We Lost

by Moonrakers



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - No One Ring, Angst, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Family Feels, Female Bilbo, Grief, Miscarriage, Post-Battle of Five Armies, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 14:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5294534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonrakers/pseuds/Moonrakers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every since the Battle of the Five Armies Bofur and Bifur can't stand being inside the mountain. A mountain that seems so empty  since their burglar, the hobbit they adopted into their family is gone. Bilba Baggins, a hobbit that no one had seen since Thorin almost threw her over the battlements.  That is until one day when Bofur and Bifur come across a group of orcs. And the truth of what really happened to Bilba Baggins, thief of the Arkenstone comes out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since the rebuilding of Erebor had commenced, Bofur and Bifur couldn’t stand being in the mountain. Not without their sister Bilba Baggins. It hurt the miner to hear dwarrows that hadn’t been at the Battle of the Five Armies called the hobbit a traitor and how the King should have killed her instead of banishing her for the crime of stealing the Arkenstone.

Those Dwarves didn’t see the love that was in their King’s eyes as he looked upon Bilba. Didn’t see his clumsy attempts at courting her and his joy when she accepted his proposal. Bilba had glowed that day after they had reclaimed Erebor when Thorin had presented her with the Mithrial coat. Bilba didn’t even hesitate to accept it, she donned it right there in front of the Company. The next day the gold sickness had set in. It happened so gradually that none of the dwarrows noticed that they had begun to spend more time in the treasure room than anywhere else.

None noticed until they saw the gold sickness that clouded their King’s eyes as he dangled Bilba over the battlements. Bofur was still ashamed that he hadn’t stopped Thorin, the sickness cleared his mind in that moment and he could only make sure that she reached the rope that lead to the ground below.

That was the last time any of the Company had seen their burglar. Though Fili and Kili both swore that she was the reason they survived the battle. But the two had lost so much blood by the time they were found that many were unwilling to believe this tale.

Things had been busy since the battle. There was no shortage of work to go around in the mountain. Smaug had left massive amounts of damage inside the mountain and the Orc and warg corpses had to be burned and all the bodies buried.  

Bofur and Bifur had volunteered to hunt down any stray Orc surrounding Erebor, not being able to stand being inside the mountain. Being in the mountain brought back memories of gold sickness and Bilba pleading with them to just look at her. Some night under the stars Bofur could see her face, taut with hunger and her eyes pleading, begging him to forget about the gold. Those night Bofur would stay awake with Bifur and just talk. It was an adjustment to be able to understand Bifur once again but being reacquainted with his cousin was a highlight to their self-imposed exile.

But it also gave Bofur time to remember the hobbit he briefly called sister. The Ur family had been protective of the little shy creature the moment they laid eyes on her in the Shire. She seemed to fit in the little clan like she had been born to it. Once she got over her shyness, Bofur and Bilba had hit it off. Sharing jokes and stories during the long hours of pony ride. Bilba and Bombur had bonded over cooking, that and Bilba being one of the few that didn’t make fun of the dwarf’s large girth. Bombur had actually been quite interested in hobbit culture and Bilba had spent many evenings answering the usually quiet dwarfs questions. The relationship between her and Bifur had been subtle, it had grown between the two without realizing it. It started with Bifur realizing how attached his cousins was getting to the small hobbit lass, and he decided to keep an extra eye out for her. Gradually Bifur began to pay more and more attention to the hobbit, and little did he know she was doing the same. It was in Rivendell when he was surprised as Bilba hesitantly signed out hello to him. It had surprised Bifur, and secretly delighted him. Bifur had taken her under his wing and began to teach the hobbit. But it wasn’t until after they almost lost her in the Goblin caves and orcs that Bifur realized how much the Ur clan had grown to care about her.  It was at Beorn when Bifur, using the rights as head of the Ur clan, adopted her as a member of the Ur clan and braided the family braid into her hair. A braid that Thorin had tried to rip out when he hung her over the battlements. Bifur never regretted punching his King in the face the days following the battle for even daring to touch it.

This day marked the third month since the battle and spring was returning life to the desolation. The winter was really beginning to set in and this would be the last hunt Bofur and Bifur had until the spring. They were lucky and stumbled upon a large group, at least a half a dozen, thirty miles from Erebor. The orcs had not been expecting them and the cousins had managed to kill three of them before the others realized what was happening.

Working in perfect sync the cousins quickly brought down the remaining three orcs very quickly.

Bofur carefully whipped the blood from his mattock looking at the fallen bodies of the orcs. They were not the biggest he had ever seen, but they seemed to be in good shape. Looking around, Bofur could tell the orcs had been camped here for awhile, possible since the end of the Battle. They seemed to have camped inside the cave which Bofur approached slowly with his mattock ready.

The cave appeared empty expect for a pile of rags in the corner. Bofur was turning to leave when the sound of rustling reached his ears and he realized that something was in the rags. Moving cautiously with his mattock in his hands he approached the rags and prodded it with his toe. A small moan reached his ears, but it didn’t sound orcish. Bofur kneeled down next to the rags and gently pulled to back to reveal the body beneath them. A dirty, small painfully thin frame was uncovered, with familiar looking feet.

“Bilba” he gasped, the mattock suddenly dropped from his numb fingers.

At the sound of her name, her green eyes opened, looking so large next to her hollow cheeks.

“Bofur” she whispered, her voice cracking. Bofur immediately took the water skin from his belt and held it to Bilba's cracked lips letting her drink. 

Bofur hardily recognized his sister, the plump little thing from Bag End was gone. In its place was a skeleton. Skin stretched painfully over the bones, Bofur could see every rib, every vertebra on her back. And what little he could see of her skin from underneath the dirt was a mass of bruises and scabs. Her long hair was matted and dirty, parts had been hacked off, but in the middle of it Bofur could still see the Ur family braid. The thickest thing on Bilba was the iron collar around her neck that was connected to a chain embedded in the wall.

“Don’t worry Bilba, I’m going to get you out of here” said Bofur.

Not waiting for her reply, Bofur raced outside and jumped on the nearest corpse.

“Bofur what are you doing?” demanded Bifur coming up beside his cousin who was ripping the Orc’s armor to shreds.

“I’m looking for a key” he said.

“Key, key for what?”

“Look inside the cave Bifur”

Bifur eyed the cave, he warily made his way to the cave. He stopped inside the entrance to allow his eyes to adjust when he heard a scratchy voice say his name. “Bifur”

Bifur’s eyes immediately zoomed onto the owner of his voice and he now realized why Bofur was searching the bodies vigorlessly.

“Bilba” he said as he rushed forward, falling to his knees beside her.  He gently brought his hands to cup her face. He couldn’t believe that she was alive. “Lass it is good to see your face” he whispered.

A small spark of surprise lit Bilba’s dull eyes, “You are talking common tongue” she croaked.

Bifur reached up and ran a finger down the groove the axe had been, Bilba’s eyes following the movement.

“Yes, surprisingly I have an Orc to thank for it” he said.  Bilba seemed to shrink into herself at the mention of Orcs and Bifur wanted to slap himself. Of course she would be upset with the mention of orcs, she had been held by them for months and who knows what done to her.

Before Bifur could apologize for his mistake, Bofur came racing back inside, the key held out triumphantly. Bifur moved out of the way, but kept ahold of Bilba’s hands as Bofur unlocked the collar. When the collar came off and Bifur was sick at sight that greeted them. The skin was rubbed raw from the collar. Bofur looked like he wanted to destroy the piece of iron his hands.  But shoved those angry feelings to the back of his mind, Bilba didn’t need to see that.

“Thank-you” breathed Bilba, hands coming up to touch the flesh. Bofur quickly caught the motion and instead used them to help her stand up.

“Come on Bilba, were taking you home” said Bofur as he helped Bilba walk out of the cave and towards where their camp was. Bofur was surprised when Bilba wretched herself out of his arms.

“No I can’t leave” she said staggering a few feet away before collapsing onto her knees.

Bofur and Bifur immediately rushed to her side. “Lass, your banishment’s been lifted, you have nothing to fear about coming to Erebor” Bofur assured.

Bilba just shook her head, “No I can’t leave, not without her” whispered Bilba brokenly.

“Without who Bilba?” asked Bofur gently.

“My baby” cried Bilba, tears running down her face.

“Your baby?” whispered Bofur, he knew Thorin and her had gotten close during their brief engagement but not that close. He was going to kill Thorin.

“Where’s your baby” signed Bifur falling back on his old way in communicating.

Bilba struggled to her feet, refusing help as she walked over to the nearest tree and sank to her knees beside it. “She’s here” she whispered placing her hand on the ground.

“Oh Bilba” whispered Bofur putting his hand on her shoulder. There were no other words, no words to express their sorrow at this news. Children were treasured by dwarrows, girl children especially so. To know that their niece was buried here, in a shallow grave was too much.

“She will be given a proper burial at Erebor, laid to rest in the stone among her kin” assured Bifur laying his hand on the other shoulder.

“Thank-you” whispered Bilba, before falling sideways, the emotional stress catching up with her fatigued body. Bifur barely had time to catch her. She was so light in his arms, nothing but a skeleton. It broke his heart to see what had happened to their sister. He had promised to protect this kindly child of the West from all harm when they adopted her. As he looked at her, he realized just how much he had failed her.

“Bofur, take her back to camp. I will do what is necessary here” said Bifur.

Bofur gently took Bilba from Bifur, and began to walk back to camp. Bifur took the hatchet from his belt and approached the tree. He wasn’t going to put his niece in a bag, until she could be laid to rest in the stone he would carry her in the coffin.

Gripping the hatchet firmly he began to hack at the tree. Letting his anger and frustration out on the tree. He supposed it would be better to do it at the tree instead of Thorin the next time he saw him.


	2. Chapter 2

Bofur carried Bilba like she was made out of glass as he walked back to the camp. He dared not take her into the overhang they had created. He knew of dwarrows that spent months captive having severe panic attacks on being in enclosed spaces. Instead Bofur laid her down beside the fire pit. He worked quickly to build up a fire, it was quite cold. Winter was catching up fast in Northern Country, it was a surprise that the land hadn’t been buried in snow. But Bifur’s wound had been started to throb in the way that only meant that snow, a lot of snow was heading their way. Bofur and Bifur wouldn’t be able to delay their departure, they had to get Bilba to the safety of Erebor before the storms started to roll through. As soon as the fire was burning good, Bofur quickly gathered their blankets and wrapped Bilba in them and put her as close to the fire as he dared.

Once he was satisfied he grabbed the cooking pot and ran to the little creek that flowed not too far away and filled the pot as quick as he could. He was nervous leaving Bilba by herself in this open country where orcs still roamed. He was taking a chance building the fire as big as he did, but right now his only priority was fixing Bilba up. He could only pray to Mahal that he would be merciful and keep any stray orcs far away from their campsite.

Bofur was relieved to see nothing had changed in the few minutes he had left. Bilba was still unconscious next to the fire and Bofur hoped she would remain so for the next part. Setting the pot over the fire, he warmed the water and tore his spare shirt into rags. When the water was warm enough he dipped a rag in the clean water and gently unwrapped Bilba from the blankets. The rags she had covering her intimate parts were what Bofur recognized as what used to be her blue coat that they had bought for her at Lake Town. Other than she was completely naked. Bofur began to clean the dirt from her body, throwing the rags in the fire as he went. The water he was using soon began black with dirt and he wasn’t even done. Bofur had to retrieve another pot of water to continue cleaning.

The more dirt he washed off, the more sick he felt to his stomach as he uncovered numerous scars that hadn’t been there before. The blood drained from his face as he recognized some of the wounds that could only result from an arrow on her back. He could tell it was the oldest of them all, and he realized that it must have been from the Battle. His heart clenched in pain knowing that his sister had taken part in that awful blood bath, and then he realized that what Fili and Kili saw was probably true. The whole reason why the line of Durin was alive was because of the hobbit in his arms.

Once Bilba was clean, Bofur cleaned the numerous open wounds, the worst of them a gash on her side that Bofur sewed up. After that Bofur borrowed a spare set of cloths from Bifur that were clean and dressed her in them.  It was only after that that Bofur looked at himself for any damage done by the filth that held Bilba. He was surprised to find a shallow gash on his forearm that only began to register pain as he looked at it. He quickly wrapped it up before going to the creek a third time to gather water, this time in preparation of soup.

Bofur immediately began to throw some supplies into the soup pot as soon as the water began to boil, some salt, the last of their potatoes, and chunks of beef jerky he cut. Every so often he would look up from his work and look to see if Bifur was coming.  He couldn’t even come to describe the feelings that were raging inside him at the thought of what Bifur was doing. How hard it would be for his cousin to desecrate their nieces resting place. He wished that he could be there at least to support him, but Bifur was right to send him on with Bilba. She didn’t need to see the bones of her daughter, no Mother should. He also knew that Bifur wouldn’t just toss their niece in a sack and call it good, Bofur knew that Bifur was making a proper container to hold the bones until they reached Erebor.

So Bofur stayed sitting by the fire minding the soup as the sun began to descend, painting the sky with reds, purples, and oranges. Bofur remembered his Mother once telling him that the Maker Mahal had once forged his wife a paint brush so that she could paint the sky at every sunrise and sunset. The sky was quickly turning to black when Bofur saw Bifur on the horizon. It took Bifur about fifteen minutes to arrive to camp after that sighting, with a painfully tiny box in his hands.

The box was rough, but Bifur had managed to make it look presentable. It was about a foot long and six inches wide. The sides were fairly smooth and flowers and vines had been carved on the top, around a name,Tovatűnt*.

Bofur stood up and gently took the box from Bifur, holding it tight to his body. He quietly whispered a prayer to Mahal to accept Tovatűnt into the Halls of Waiting until the day the world is remade. Bofur felt his eyes mist up as he held the tiny box, but he refused to cry. There would be time to mourn once they were back at Erebor.

He carefully set the coffin in the over-hang and draped his own blanket over top of it. There was no need for Bilba to wake up and see that. He turned to talk to Bifur, only to realize his cousin was standing over Bilba with a mournful look on his face.

“I was supposed to make sure she was protected. I am the head of this clan” he whispered. “She was so small Bofur, wrapped in some of Bilba’s old cloths.”

Bofur slowly walked up and laid a hand on his cousins shoulder. Bifur reached back and clasped it with his own. “I’m sorry you had to do that alone”

“It had to be done, besides Bilba needed you more than me.”

Bofur didn’t argue with that point. He gave Bifur’s shoulder one last squeeze before letting go. “I made some stew, you should eat something.”

Bifur hummed, “Why didn’t you do something with her hair?” he asked.

While the rest of Bilba was clean, her hair was still in the same matted shape they found her in.

“Her hair is damaged, I don’t think I can get it clean with having to cut some of the matted tangles out” said Bofur.

Bifur understood what Bofur was trying to say. He believed that the only way to fix Bilba’s hair was to cut it short. But he was reluctant to do because cutting her hair would send the message that she was being shamed.

“We will wait until she wakes up” he said finally. They could at lease wait until Bilba was awake before they did something drastic. Suddenly feeling older than he was he sank down beside the fire, too tired to stand anymore.  Bofur quickly went and grabbed the bowls before dipping up some stew for both Bifur and himself. Neither could taste a thing as they sat and waited for Bilba to wake up.

~i~i~i~i~i

Bilba woke up warm and comfortable and she knew that it had to be a dream. She hadn’t woken warm and content since the morning before the elves and men marched on the mountain. She believed that in those precious days that she could manage to draw her family out of the gold sickness that they had begun to descend into. But the coming of the elves had plunged the entire Company too deep into the gold sickness to recover. Bilba liked to think that if she had known she was pregnant when she made that deal with Thranduil and Bard she would have did things differently. The night Thorin had proposed he called her his greatest treasure, but that did not matter when compared to the Arkenstone. There had been nothing but hate in Thorin’s eyes as he dangled her above the battlements.

The only comfort she had that day was the clear look in her brother’s eyes as they helped her to the wall.

After that her memory was spotty, during the final moment of the battle she had been struck in the head by a rock. She could remember running to Fili and Kili’s aid and managing to kill the orcs surrounding them as they lay on the ground. She didn’t know if they survived or not. The last thing she remembered from the battle was throwing stones at Azog as he had Thorin pinned on the ice. She caused enough distraction for Thorin to push Azog away and cut his head off. She must have run off after that, she awoke alone and cold far away from Raven Hill. She only knew that a rock caused the bump on her head because of a bloodstained rock nearby.

Bilba had wandered away from the battle field tripping over dead bodies as she went, she didn’t even notice Orcs surrounding her until it was too late. She thought for sure that she would be dead with days, but some reason she never learned why they kept her alive.

Wishing she could enjoy the dream a little while longer, but knowing that she should wake before one of the orcs kicked her awake, she opened her eyes. At first she was confused the warm sensation was going away, and instead of the cave ceiling she was looking up at the stars. There was a fire next to her, and the smell of real food in the air. Bilba realized that she was covered in blankets and she felt clean for the first time in months.

“Good, your awake” came a much missed voice and Bilba looked over to see Bifur and Bofur looking at her. What happened earlier came racing back and she began to sob. She missed the look of concern that passed over the two cousins face as they quickly got up and went to her side. They didn’t hesitate to lift her into their arms and hold her as she sobbed. Bifur softly hummed a dwarven lullaby as he rocked her.  Bofur started to hum the same melody as he rubbed calming circles on her back. Slowly but surely Bilba began to quiet, having shed all her tears.

“I can’t believe you’re really here” she whispered at last.

“If we knew what happened we would have been here sooner sister” said Bofur. These words filled Bilba’s heart with joy, she had assumed from her betrayal that she had been disowned. To know that they still considered her family was a balm to her shattered soul.

“Thank-you” she whispered.

“Are you hungry?” asked Bifur, “Bofur made some stew”

Ever since the loss of the baby, Bilba felt no hunger. The orcs had forced fed her gruel to keep her alive when they released she had stopped eating. But looking into Bifur’s worried eyes she knew that she couldn’t refuse. “Just a small bowl” she said.

Bofur quickly filled a bowl half way and gave it to Bilba. Bilba slowly ate the stew until her stomach protested, leaving a quarter of the stew in the bowl. She tried to ignore the looks of sadness that passed her brother’s faces when they saw how little she could actually manage. But she was glad when they didn’t say anything.

“I woke alone on the battlefield” she said breaking the silence. “I was captured immediately afterwards. I didn’t know I was pregnant until my third week of captivity. I tried to protect her, I really did. She was the only reason I stayed alive, the hope that I would escape so that she could be born in a safe place. I will not speak of the what happened to me during these past few months. But I managed to keep her safe, until  a few weeks ago. The Orcs that held me were in a bad mood, they had been forced to put down their last warg they had. The lead Orc took his frustration out on me. He kicked me hard in my stomach and I was unable to protect the baby”

Tears were running down Bilba’s face by then as her arms came to wrapped around her empty womb. She wasn’t the only one, tears were beginning to fall down Bofur and Bifur’s faces as well as they listened to the tale. “By that night I was having contractions. It was too soon, there was no way that she could have survived in the world. I gave birth to her in the middle of the night,” looking at her forearm she traced the freshly scarred creasant wounds that Bifur realized were teeth marks. “I dared not make a sound. I knew that if those monster knew what was happening I would have to witness my baby being devoured by them.”

Bilba began to sob again, and this time Bofur was the one who hugged her close. “She was perfect, and she didn’t even take a single breath. I wrapped her in what was left of my clothing and crawled to the end of my chain. I only had my hands to dig that shallow hole underneath the tree. Why Bofur, why did I get to live while my baby didn’t?” she asked.

Bofur had no answer for her. “I don’t know Bilba, but I do now that your little girl will be buried properly.”

“You got her, didn’t you?” asked Bilba looking at Bofur.

“Yes, Bifur got her, she’s safe” assured Bofur.

“Where?” she asked looking around. Bofur looked at his cousin over Bilba’s head with a questioning look. Bifur pressed his lips together, but got up to retrieve the casket. Bilba’s eyes followed him and started to tremble when he gently laid the box into her arms.

Bilba clutched the box to her chest, gently kissing the lid. “I didn’t even get to give her a name” she whispered.

Bifur shifted and gently touched her hands. “I carved a name on the lid” Bilba pulled back to gaze at the lid of the box. She gently traced the letters, Tovatűnt.

“What does it mean” she asked quietly.

“It means lost one” he said.

Bilba smiled a sad smile as more tears ran down her face. “It’s appropriate” she said as she left Bifur take the coffin away from her.  “Thank-you” she whispered.

“No need to thank me” answered Bifur.

Bilba disagreed but let the subject drop.  The emotional outburst, and full stomach was catching up with her and her eyes began to droop. Bofur noticed.

“Sleep Bilba, we have a long journey tomorrow.”

That woke Bilba up for a moment, “I don’t want to see him” She didn’t have to clarify who she was talking about as a dark look appeared on Bifur’s face.

“Sleep Bilba, we will talk in the morning” assured Bofur.

“Don’t want to see him” she slurred as she fell asleep, feeling safe for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the reviewer Veronika who informed me the orginal name I had for Bilba's daughter actually meant employees...way to go google translate. So following her advice I have changed it to Tovatűnt.
> 
> Tovatűnt means faded away, in Veronika's words, in a sense that you had something with you for a moment only then it vanished.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick look at the third member of the Ur clan and Bofur, Bifur, and Bilba make their way to Erebor

“Da, when will Uncle Bifur, and Uncle Bofur be back” asked Bonifis, Bombur’s oldest son. The little boy was paying so much attention to the dough he was working that he didn’t notice the pained look that crossed his Father’s face.

“Soon son, soon” answered Bombur, the same thing he had been saying since the day Bofur and Bifur had left. Bombur knew that his brother and cousin had felt guilty leaving Bombur here by himself, but the large dwarf knew why they had to go. Bombur was glad that the caravans from the Blue Mountains had arrived soon after they had left. Having his wife and six children here was a blessing. He had missed them dearly while on the quest, something that he often talked to Bilba about.

“Are they going to get my Auntie Bilba?” came the innocent voice again. Bombur was so shocked at this question that he dropped the knife that he had been using to chop apples.

He muffled the curse he wanted to let loose, as he picked up the knife. Ravora would be displeased if she found out he was swearing in front of the children again. “Why would you think that?” Bombur asked calmly.

“I heard you tell Mama that Uncle Bofur and Bifur left because they missed Auntie Bilba. So I thought maybe they left to bring her back, I really want to meet her.”

Bombur didn’t have the heart to tell his son that they didn’t even know if Bilba was alive. Every month Bombur had sent a raven with a letter to the Shire, to the Thain asking if Bilba was back. And every month he received the same reply. There was no sign of her.

“Maybe, but first they have to do their duty to the Kingdom and take care of Orcs that escaped the battle.”

“Okay” said Bonifis. Bombur was glad that the subject was dropped and as soon as the pie was in the oven he shooed Bonifis to go play with his brothers and sisters. Leaving Bombur time to reflect as he cleaned up the mess. His son was so innocent, he didn’t know the conflict inside the mountain whenever their former Burglar’s name was brought up.

There were still some inside the mountain that called the hobbit a traitor and cursed her very name. The King’s decision to retract her banishment was unpopular among the noble class. But the lower class thought she was in the right with the business of the Arkenstone.

Among the Company, both Bilba and the Arkenstone had not been discussed since after the battle.

_The sound of the wounded was loud in the air. There were more wound then the healers could handle. The Company was lucky that they had all survived, Fili and Kili were the worst, but the healers had assured them that they would pull through._

_Thorin was exiting their tent when an unsuspected fist connected with his face. The blow had him falling to the ground in a heap. A sound of scuffle was heard as Thorin raised his face to see who had attacked him. He was not surprised to see Bifur being restrained by Dwalin trying to get to him._

_“I don’t care if he’s King and he’s no longer gold sick” growled Bifur and the Company was shocked to hear common coming out of his mouth. The ax that had been a Bifur’s complain for decades was no longer in his forehead._

_Thorin quickly got to his feet, “Let him be Dwalin, he has a right to be angry.”_

_Dwalin reluctantly let go of the toymaker, who made a beeline straight to Thorin. Thorin braced himself for another blow, but it never came. Bifur just stood in front of him glaring._

_“Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror. You have dishonored my family, attempted to kill my family, and dared to touch my clan braid in her hair. If I and my kin had not given into the gold madness like you did I would be separating your head from your shoulders. You owe my clan a life debt, it will be up to my sister to determine if you pay that with blood.”_

_Thorin nodded, “Of course, I will lift her banishment immediately.”_

_Bifur gave a sharp nod of the head, accepting this. But before he could say anything else Gandalf came rushing towards him. “Where is she Thorin Oakenshied!” he demanded._

_“Where is who?” replied Thorin looking tiredly up at Gandalf as the Grey Wizard towered above him._

_“Bilba Baggins”_

_“I have not seen Mistress Baggins since I sent her over the battlements” answered Thorin truthfully._

_Gandalf seemed to slip into himself, looking like the tired old man that he was. Bifur quickly pushed Thorin out of the way, quickly followed by Bofur and Bombur._

_“When was the last time that you saw her?” demanded Bifur._

_“Bilba slipped the guards I left her with” Gandalf said gravely, “She took part in the battle. I have had word of soldiers seeing her in the thick of fighting.” Side eying Thorin he then added, “She had no armor, no mail  to protect herself, just her little sword.”_

_Thorin felt as if Bifur had struck him again. Looking back through his gold hazed memories, he realized he had ripped the mithrial mail off of Bilba minutes before hanging her over the battlements. Most of the Company looked horrified as they remembered what their King had did under the goldsickness. Expect three eyes that were glaring with what Thorin could only described as hatred. A look that looked so out of place on Bofur and Bombur who’s faces were usually smiling._

_“You better pray to the Maker that she’s alive Oakenshield” said Bifur darkly._

_As a unit the family Ur turned from the King and Company and back onto the battlefield. The three cousin spent a month combing the battlefield for Bilba. The only thing they ever found was her little sword Sting and her magic ring she used to make herself invisible. Gandalf had taken one look at the ring and taken it and an eagle and flew south. The Clan Ur, never gave up hope that Bilba had escaped the battlefield alive. They were at least assured that she wasn’t laying somewhere wounded or dead while being invisible. But eventually they had to give up, and that was around the time Bofur and Bifur left Erebor to hunt orcs as Bombur waited for the caravan that carried his family to arrive. Those weeks by himself had been very lonely for Bombur. But he didn’t hold it against his brother and cousin. Erebor felt haunted not only by the ghosts of the dead, but by the actions of the Company those weeks before the Battle. It got better with his wife and children and when the real repairs began to take place that many of these feelings died. But Bombur couldn’t stand to go near the treasury and the battlements without feeling sick to his stomach._

The Company dinners once a week were a very awkward affair.  It was mostly to the efforts of Fili and Kili that the happened, who didn’t want to lose any of the bonds that had been made during the quest. The olophiant in the room was ignored, as ignored as the three empty chairs around Bombur. As a result Bombur didn’t talk much at these meals. If he did tak it was to the Ri clan. All three of its members had also grown close Bilba during the quest. Ori had once confined in Bofur that if Bifur hadn’t adopted Bilba Dori defiantly would have. Ori was a frequent visitor at Bombur’s hall.

Thorin had given the members of the Company their own halls close to the royal wing as well as naming every member of the Company a Lord. If the royal halls hadn’t been as damaged as they were Bombur would have refused. But the hall was large and spacious enough to have his family live comfortably. There was even room for Bofur and Bifur when they returned. Providing that they refused the halls Thorin had set aside for them.

“What is it my love?” asked Ravora, coming up behind Bombur.

“Bonifis asked me if Bofur and Bifur were away retrieving Bilba to come back to the mountain” said Bombur turning to look at his wife. Ravora was a classic dwarfish beauty, her hair and beard full and long and a deep chestnut color.  It still amazed Bombur that he had been able to woo her and gain her hand in marriage. Their marriage was often called a blessing, to be blessed with six children, three of them girls had previously been unknown and both were still relevantly still young.

Ravora gently turned Bombur to face her and cupped a hand on his check, brushing a tear he hadn’t known escaped. “I know this separation is hard for you dear husband and it pains me to see you in pain.”

Bombur smiled weakly at his heart and pulled her hand down to kiss it, no words had to be spoken between them.

* * *

 

Bofur and Bifur woke up as the sun barely began to peek over the horizon. There was a constant ache from Bifur’s old ax wound, that the toymaker knew they couldn’t afford to delay any moment. A big storm was coming and they did not want to be caught out in the open when it struck. They broke camp as quietly as they could as Bilba slumbered on.

“Let her sleep” said Bifur.

Bofur rolled her eyes at his cousin, he wasn’t a complete idiot.

Bifur was unapologetic as he strapped the last of the supplies on the back of the pony. After mounting he motioned for Bofur to hand Bilba up to him. Being as gentle as possible Bofur picked up the light bundle and passed it up to Bifur before mounting his own pony.

They traveled all day steadily, though taking breaks to allow Bilba to stretch and to be switched between the cousins. For the moments that Bilba was awaken, it felt like it was the good days of when the Company was first being to travel together and Bilba was on top of Myrtle. She had thought riding a pony was one of the most difficult things that she ever imagined. It was a bitter memory to look back now and realize how naïve she used to be. If only she had realized just what would happen to her on this quest, the heartbreak and the pain. She didn’t know if it was worth it anymore and that scared her. When Thorin had threatened to kill her because of the Arkenstone, Bilba had thought to die to save him was worth it. But she now knew what the true cost had been and she didn’t know anymore. Bilba didn’t know if she would ever be ready to face Thorin again after everything that had happened and if she even wanted to. She would always be haunted by the question of what if? What if she could have snapped Thorin out of his gold sickness? What if she had been able to carry her daughter to term?

Bilba could only hope her brothers had heard her the night before and kept Thorin away from her.

Bofur pulled up short on his pony, a movement that had Bilba rapidly blinking the sleep from her eyes. “What is it?” she asked.

Bofur looked down at Bilba, “We’re here” he said quietly.

A weight seemed to settle in Bilba’s stomach. She hadn’t realized how much time she had spent lost in thought, half asleep. But now she slowly turned and laid her eyes on the Lonely Mountain once more and immediately assaulted with images and sound.

_*Will you do me the honor of being my wife?*_

_*I Will Not Part With a Single Coin*_

_*Traitor!*_

_*Filthy Shire Rat*_

_*Banished on pain of death if she returns*_

“Bilba, Bilba!” came a loud voice snapping Bilba out of her flashbacks. Her frightened eyes met the worried ones of Bifur.

“Back with us?” he asked.

Bilba nodded softly, “Yes Bifur.”

The two cousins exchanged looks, “Bilba, we won’t let anything happen to you,” assured Bofur hugging her frame close to his.

Bilba tried to ignore the feeling of dread that filled her as the ponies began their descent towards the front gates of Erebor.


	4. Chapter 4

The closer they came to the mountain, the more Bilba shook, it wasn’t something she could control. Everything screamed at her to turn around, the words of Thorin echoing in her ears. She couldn’t quite believe that she would be welcome at the mountain.

Bifur and Bofur exchanged looks, unknowningly thinking the same things Bilba was. It would be impossible to keep the news of Bilba’s return a secret. But they could minimize her reception. Bofur adjusted the blankets, covering Bilba’s large feet and making a makeshift hood to cover Bilba’s face.

The mountain was bursting with activity. Much more than Bofur and Bifur was expecting. Things had really changed from the last time they had entered the mountain. Already the signs of reconstruction were evident. Foot traffic to the entrance of the mountain was steady, and the two dwarrows gained many stares as they rode to the entrance of the mountain.

Whispers soon began to follow them as they entered the gates. Dwarrows of every age stared with wide eyes.

“Its Bofur and Bifur, heroes of Erebor!” was the most frequent whispers that reached the cousins ears.

Bilba could also hear these whispers and she turned her face into Bofur protective shoulder. There was just too much sound. Her memories of Erebor were of silent halls, ringing with the voices long lost. Even though Bilba was slightly tempted to look she dared not turn her head from Bofur’s protective shoulder, though she trembled still. She could hear of multiple dwarrows and the sound of construction. The mountain was alive again, just like Thorin had wanted it to be. Now the sound of new life ringed in the immense hall. Against her will tears gathered in her eyes, images of her little girl running through these halls, Fili and Kili chasing after her. Her little girl begging for every sweet thing sold in the market and Bofur giving in every time. Her room filled with every toy imaginable from Bifur; that she shared generously with her cousins, the children Bombur told her so much about.  And every night she would tuck her little girl in with Thorin standing beside her, singing a lullaby.

So many plans she had thought of as she lay in the orc cave, of how things could have been. Her little girl would have been the apple to her Father’s eyes, and have the rest of Company wrapped around her little finger. The hope that someday that these visions might come true gave Bilba courage every day to wake up and face the orcs, to not just lay down and die. Losing her little girl had wounded Bilba in a way she doubted that she would ever recover. Even Thorin’s betrayal hadn’t  hurt her this badly. But she feared what would happen the next time that they met.

A part deep down inside her did blame Thorin for what happened to her, that he was responsible for the death of their child. If he had only valued her over a sparkly stone, if he could see that she was just trying to save everyone. But he had cast her out, after he nearly threw her over the wall.

Bofur’s arms tightened around her, and Bilba let those thoughts drift away. She would drive herself mad if she kept thinking about the what if’s in life.

“You there, which way to the stables?” called Bifur to a guard that stood near the entrance.

“Two level down” replied the guard.

“Thank-you”  called Bifur.

Traffic broke up as they headed to the stables. Bofur couldn’t help but whistle at the sheer amount of restoration that had happened in the short months. It wouldn’t surprise him that within the next five years that most of the damage would be repaired.

Walls that had previously been covered in dust had been cleaned and repaired. Scenes of dwarven history now looked down upon them. Such grandeur was a surprise to Bofur. The Blue Mountains of his birth were never wealthy, never had fine things to show off their wealth. But even half restored Erebor just screamed wealth and with it memories of what they lost because of greed. Without permission Bofur’s eyes turned to the box strapped behind Bifur, the cost of their fall into the gold sickness had been too steep.

Bofur was glad to finally enter the stables were there was little sign of wealth.  No the stables were how a stable should be, the air full of the smell of horse and manure.

“How may I help you Sir’s” came a voice from a small office beside the entrance of the stable.

“Yes, we need to stable our ponies” answered Bifur, swinging off his as an older dwarf exited the office.

“Five gold pieces a week, two extra if you want to keep your saddles here” said the dwarf as he came to stand in front of Bifur.

“Sounds fair,” replied Bifur as he dug into his saddle bag for the bag of coins he had stashed there. “Is there anyone that can point us to a person’s residence?”

“Sure, my boy’s his lunch break, he’s a royal page he can get you where you need to go” answered the dwarf. “Nain, get out here” he called.

A boy no older than Kili came rushing out of the office, dressed in the royal page uniform of deep blue. He had a silently chubby face with a head of black hair.

“Yes Father?”

“These dwarrows need an escort to a residence quarter, see if you can help them.”

“Yes Sir” answered Nain as he turned towards the two dwarrows beside his Father.

“How can I help you Si-“ was all the page managed to get out when he fully took in who was requesting his service.

Bofur wanted to sigh, he hated the recognition already. Bifur nudged Bofur’s shin with his elbow, he could feel the annoyance rolling off of him. Bofur looked down at Bifur who raised an eyebrow at him. This time Bofur did sigh, and motioned for Bifur to take Bilba. As soon as that was accomplished, Bofur swung off his pony and stood in front of the page.

 

“We’re is Bombur of the Clan Ur, member of Thorin Oakenshield’s Company?” asked Bofur.

“He should be in his family’s hall Lord Bofur” stammered the page.

Bofor blinked, Lord Bofur? Hall? Apparently many changes had gone on while they had been away. Deciding to think about it later he addressed the page once more. “Can you take us to it?”

“Of course Lord Bofur, Lord Bifur.”

“Alright” said Bofur, he turned to reclaim Bilba from Bifur and allowed Bifur to take the casket from it’s place behind the saddle.

“Take us” said Bifur.

The young lad began to lead them further into the mountain, and Bifur was shocked to see how much progress had taken place in the past three months.  He had expected the entrance hall to be like it was, but inside the mountain he had expected for there to be much ruin. It would seem that he had underestimated the will of the people of Durin when they decided to reclaim these ancient halls. There was still a lot of work to do, but the mountain was coming to life again once more.

As expected, whispers and stares once again followed Bofur and Bifur as they walked through the Mountain.

“That’s Lord Bofur and Bifur, two of King Thorin’s Company” was the main whisper.

“Who is Lord Bofur carrying?” was another.

Bofur and Bifur said nothing and kept their heads high. Bifur was especially intimidating with his boar spear strapped over one shoulder, and Bofur’s mattock on the other all while carrying the coffin. The cousins were hoping they would make it to Bombur’s hall before the news of their arrival reached the King and Princes.

Eventually the sound of voices got quieter the further they went into the residence areas. All three of the Ur’s were glad for that.

“Here we are Sir’s, Lord Bombur’s family hall.”

“Thank-you Nain” said Bifur.

Nain proudly saluted the two heroes of Erebor and quickly knocked on the door.

Bombur and Ravora were enjoying a quiet moment. The children were down for their nap, and it was a time before Bombur had to go to his job working in the kitchens. Neither expected for the knock on the door.

“Were we expecting anyone?” asked Bombur.

“No.”

Bombur, watched as Ravora got up and opened the door allowing a page to come in the door.

“Lord Bofur, and Lord Bifur” he announced before he backed out and allowed the two cousins to enter.

A smile broke out on Bombur’s face as he laid eyes on his brother and cousin for the first time in months. He stood up to greet them, but as he got closer he saw the new lines on their faces and that they were both carrying something.

“Bofur, Bifur, what’s wrong” he asked as he came even with Ravora. Bifur said nothing but walked further into the room and gently laid the box he was carrying onto the table. Ravora furrowed her brow at the somber mood both her in-laws were in.

“We discovered something while we were hunting Orcs” said Bifur as he moved to Bofur and began to unwrap the person he had in his hands. The blood drained out of Bombur’s face as Bifur pulled away and he was able to see who was under blankets.

“Bilba?” he said gently, beside her Ravora gasped.

This was nothing like the hobbit Bombur described, the only thing that was the same was the large feet and green eyes. It was a painfully thin thing, the cloths she had on looked like a tent. Her hair was dirty and matted and there was a bandage wrapped around her neck. But what was most painful to look at was her eyes. So full of pain, so full of despair, and so old, and as she watched tears began to gather.

“Bombur,” came a broken hoarse voice.

Bombur didn’t hesitate as he went and pulled Bilba into a large hug. The feeling of safety encompassing that only Bombur could do cause Bilba to begin to sob once again. Ravora backed away from the emotional scene. Whatever had happened to the hobbit in the three months since the Battle of the Five Armies must have been horrific.

She wondered over to where Bifur had sat the small box down. The top had been intricately carved with flowers and vines and a few words were written on top. Tovatűnt, daughter of Bilba Baggins of the clan Ur.

Ravora let out a small gasp, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. This wasn’t a box, it was a coffin, a coffin of her niece.


	5. Chapter 5

Ravora came out of her shock quickly, she didn’t have the time to demand what happened. Ravora’s eyes swept to her sister in law, fully understanding why her eyes looked the way they did. Ravora had been blessed to never to have lost a child so far, but she would support this woman as family should.

 It was plan to see her new sister needed a proper bath and rest. There would be plenty of time to find out the whole story. She moved to where Bombur and Bilba had finally broken apart, now Bombur had Bilba’s face between his hands and was gently rubbing his thumbs under her streaming eyes, wiping the tears away.

“Come on dear, let’s get you cleaned up” she said gently holding out her hand. Ravora didn’t miss the way the hobbit’s eyes flickered to Bifur and Bofur for reassurance before she grabbed Ravora’s hand. Ravora led Bilba to her private bath in the Master suite. The hobbit looked even more pale and skinner in the bright light of the bath, then she had in the living room. The cloths she wore absolutely dwarfed her frame.

Ravora quickly filled the bath, as she beckoned for Bilba to strip. Ravora made use the bath was neither to hot or too cold. She also made sure she had plenty of shampoo. She would try her hardest to save Bilba’s hair but she was afraid she would have to cut it.

As she turned to tell Bilba to get in the tub she couldn’t help but the gasp that escaped. Bilba had stripped off her cloths and bandages and stood in front of Ravora with her arms hugging her concaved stomach. Ravora could see almost every bone of the hobbits underneath her skin. Her collar bone alone looked as if they were ready to cut through her skin. Her skin was a mass of scars, old and new. Some barely were healed and others stitched together.

Bilba’s eyes were trained to the ground, she did not want to see the disgust and horror in Ravora’s eyes at the sight of her body. She was shocked when a hand gentle touched her chin and raised her face to meet the dwarrowdam’s eyes. Bilba was shocked to see neither disgust or horror, nothing but kindness and compassion.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of, sister mine. To dwarrows scars are a sign of strength, to show others that we are survivors. You are a survivor Bilba” Ravora whispered.

Bilba’s lip trembled as tears filled her eyes. Not caring that she was dirty and naked, Ravora drew Bilba into a hug, just like Bombur had. But this hug shook Bilba to the core, Bilba hadn’t been hugged by a woman like this since her mother passed years ago. It soothed a part of Bilba in a way that she couldn’t describe. Ravora gently rocked the young girl gently back and forth, allowing her to cry it out of her system. She was surprised at the strength of which Bilba clutched at her.

“Shh, it will be alright eventually” she whispered.

“I don’t know if it will be” came the hoarse voice of Bilba.

“It will be in time,” she replied, “You just have to take it one day at a time.”

The two woman spent a few more minutes in this embrace before Bilba pulled away and wiped the tears off her face. “Thank-you” she whispered.

Ravora smiled, “Lets get you cleaned up” she said.

Bilba gave a small smile and a nod. She walked into the warm water and almost groaned at the sensation. Muscles immediately began to relax in the water and she closed her eyes. The last proper bath she had was back in Rivendale. Hearing a sound, she turned slightly to see Ravora sitting behind her, a few bottles and a comb in her hand.

“Do you want some help washing you hair?” she asked. Bilba stilled, it had been months since someone had given her a choice of what she wanted. Bilba turned her face away, not wanting to show Ravora just how a simple act of kindness affected her. Instead she just nodded.

Even though she was expecting it, she still flinched when a hand touched her head. In the orc camp, when an orc touched her head, it was to yank her up by her hair. “Shh, it okay” soothed Ravora as she emptied a bowl of water of her head wetting the strands. Bilba tried to relax, and instead grabbed a bar of soap and distracted herself by washing months of grim that Bofur had missed a few days ago.

Ravora was gentle and patient as she washed Bilba’s hair. From the parts that she had managed to clean and untangle, it was plain that Bilba had gorgeous color and perfect curls. It would be a shame to cut the whole lot off, especially what that meant in the dwarven culture. There might be some in the mountain who believed that Bilba deserved to have her whole head sheared. But Ravora knew differently. She had listened to Bombur’s talk of his sister to Ori, to the stories he told their children, and she had read Ori’s master work to the scribe guild. She wouldn’t give those bigots in the mountain the satisfaction of thinking that the Ur Clan was ashamed of Bilba.

Eventually with a use of vast amounts of oils and shampoos Ravora managed to wash and detangle the mass of hair that was on the hobbit’s head. She would have to trim the damage ends, but that could wait.

Under her ministrations, Bilba had begun to doze in the tub. She felt very relax in Ravora’s company, even though she had never met her before. But she was just as Bombur described her. Warm and gentle, she felt just as Belladonna Baggins felt and she knew instinctively that she was safe with this dwarrowdam.

“Bilba, let’s get you dried off and then we can get you into a proper bed” said Ravora gently.

Bilba made a sound of agreement and allowed Ravora to pull her from the tube and help her dry off. Bilba didn’t know why but her eyes refused to stay open. These past few days she seemed to do nothing else but eat and sleep. Something warm and light was draped over her frame and she was led into a new room. Gentle hands guided her onto a bed that seemed as soft as a cloud, and thick blankets were laid on top of her. “Sleep well, you are safe here.” With that Bilba lost the fight with her heavy eyes and fell into a deep healing sleep.

Ravora brushed a few wet strands of hair out of Bilba’s face. She looked incredible young like this, and Ravora’s motherly instincts rose with a vengeance. She didn’t care that Bilba was full grown, Bilba was now one of hers and Ravora swore that she would do her best to make sure that nothing else happened to the young hobbit.  She would have to commission some beads made to show the whole mountain, especially the royal family that Bilba was a part of her family.

-o-o-o-

“What happened to her?” demanded Bombur in a low voice as soon as Rovora had led Bilba away.

Bofur and Bifur sighed, “You’re going to need a drink, by Mahal we do” said Bifur rubbing a hand over his weary face. Bombur didn’t argue, but slipped into the kitchen and filled three tankards full of ale and brought them to the sitting room.

Bifur was seated on one of the couches, having shed his coat and weapons. Bofur was located by the fireplace. He was resting his head on his bended arm, as he gazed into the flames. Bombur paused at the look of deep sorrow that rested on his face. Bombur hadn’t seen Bofur look this desolate since healers had informed the brothers that Bifur would most likely not survive the night. Bombur wordlessly handed out the ale and slipped onto the couch opposite of Bifur.

Bifur took a deep gulp of ale and then in a soft voice proceeded to tell Bombur what had happened. By the time he was finished tears were streaming down his face.  

“Poor Bilba” he finally whispered, eyes drifting to the box on his table. The final causality of the Battle of the Five Armies. Bombur desperately wished this was a dream and when he woke up there would be a letter saying that Bilba was home in the Shire. But it wasn’t, dreams were never this painful. Bombur wished that they could hid Bilba from the mountain until she was ready to face them. But he knew that this was impossible. Just like it would be impossible to keep the news of the baby from the population.

Bombur rubbed his face with his hands, “What are we going to do?” he asked.

“We be there for her, we protect her. Mahal help anyone in this mountain if they try to hurt her” growled Bifur. It didn’t need to be said that Bifur was mainly thinking of the King Under the Mountain.

“If need be, we will leave and go back to the Blue Mountains” came the voice of Ravora as she entered the living room.

“How is she?” asked Bofur looking away from the fire for the first time.

“Sleeping in her bedroom right now, poor thing is exhausted” said Ravora sitting next to Bombur and stealing what was left of his tankard.

“Good, its best she get some rest, I expect we will get some visitors soon” observed Bombur, glaring at his wife for stealing his ale.

For Bofur and Bifur were right and the news of their return was soon racing around the mountain. It reached the whole Company at the same time. It was a rare moment when they were all together.

It had started off as a simple meeting between Glion and Thorin about the treasury with Balin, while Dwalin guarded the door and Ori was there to record the meeting. At one point Fili and Kili burst in, Kili bleeding from a training accident that had Oin being called in to stitch it. Dori had come with Oin with a tray of tea to settle Thorin’s temper at the interruptions, and no one knew when Nori showed up.

Thorin had been at his ropes end with the nine people in his office when a knock distract him. “Dwalin get the door” he snapped. Fili and Kili exchanged looks of relief, hopefully this was someone who would distract Thorin long enough for him to forget the lecture he had been giving the two young heirs.

Everyone was surprised when just a guard entered the room. “Sorry to interrupt you, your Highness but I come baring news that I thought you might wish to know” the guard said plainly.

Thorin frowned and looked at Nori, but the Royal Spykeeper shook his head. It was a rare thing when a simple guard came baring news that Nori didn’t already know.

“What is it Guardsman Shrim?” asked Dwalin.

“Lord Bifur and Lord Bofur have returned to the mountain.”

The side conversations that had been going on stopped at these words, and Guardsman Shrim found himself at the end of nine penetrating gazes.

“When did this happen” demanded Thorin.

“About half an hour, my Lord. I myself directed the Lords to the stables.”

Before Thorin could say anything else, Kili interrupted him. “Are they okay, did they look injured?”

The whole Company held their breath waiting for the answer.

“From my eyes they looked fine, but Lord Bofur was carrying someone. It was the size of a child, wrapped completely in a blanket.”

Thorin’s mind blanked, focusing only on the words that the guardsman had just uttered. There was only one person who Bofur and Bifur would bring back into the mountain completely covered. A person that he believed was back in her beloved Shire not daring to think of the alternative. He hadn’t allowed himself the answer to that question. He had hurt the person he swore he would protect and love forever. His One he had dangled over the battlements.

Thorin had deserved the punch Bifur threw at him after the battle.  But it if was Bilba then he would have a second chance to set things right.

“They found her” he whispered with hope filling his tone.

The Company looked at each other. No one needed to ask who ‘she’ was.

“Thank-you Guardsman Shrim for this piece of news, if you will excuse me” said Thorin rushing out of the door.

The Company didn’t waste a moment running after the King, leaving a very confused guard in the meeting room.


	6. Chapter 6

After following there King out the door, the three brother’s Ri quickly took a short cut through the mountain to reach Bombur’s quarters first.

“I can’t believe they found her,” huffed Ori, running slightly behind Nori.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know the second they entered this mountain” groused Nori, he was the Spymaster for the King. It was his job to know any important news before it reached the King. But more importantly, how was he to protect his unofficial little sister when he didn’t even know she was in the mountain. Nori knew the underbelly of the Kingdom. He had heard of the whispers of the Arkenstone thief and what would happen if she came back. Many nobles in this mountain could and would afford to hire an assassin to prevent the hobbit and Thorin reconnecting, hoping that the King would instead fall for one of their daughters.

It sickened Nori to hear that, especially after all that he had seen leading up to the days before the Battle of the Five armies. Every dwarrow in this mountain should get down on bended knee and thank Bilba for uniting the five armies against the Orcs. Or else the Orcs would have come upon a battle between dwarrows and men and elves and slaughtered all of them. And after examining the areas were both Fili and Kili, and Thorin fought, Nori knew that the only reason why the three royals were alive was because of a big footed hobbit lass.

“I don’t know what the King is thinking” growled Dori, legs pumping. “Bifur made it quite clear that he would not be welcomed around Bilba after the Battle.”

Dori would always regret to not having beat the Ur clan to the punch and adopted the lass during the quest to get here. It was mostly his fault, he had been wary of the stranger being around Ori that it had taken him weeks to actually talk to her. By that time the Ur clan had already pulled her into their numbers. It wasn’t until after Goblin Town that she officially joined the Ur clan, much to Ori’s disappointment.

“He’s not thinking, that’s his problem” said Ori as the door to Bombur’s quarters came into sight.

The three brothers wasted no time in knocking on the door, uncaring that they were breathing hard from sprinting halfway across the mountain to reach the door before the King.

The door opened to a stern looking Ravora, that quickly melted when she saw just who was at the door. “Please come in” she said opening the door wide.

“Thank-you Lady Ravora” replied Dori and led the way into the chambers. Despite being told that they had returned it still warmed the three brothers hearts to see Bofur and Bifur standing in the doorway of the living room with Bombur beside them. Dori knew how difficult it had been for Bombur to wait months without word from his brother and cousin, Mahal knows that Dori had spent many nights laying awake wondering if Nori was still alive.

“Dori, Nori, Ori its good to see you” said Bofur, a small smile break over his features. What he said was true, it was good to see his friends. The Clan of Ri became really close to the Ur clan during the journey. Even though they were Longbeards and technically related to the Durins, they were the closest in social standing to the Urs.

“Its good to see both of you alive and well” said Dori smiling.

“What brings you here?” asked Ravora trying to act causal as she gathered the tankards and took them to the kitchen,

“Thorin knows you brought back Bilba, he’s on his way. We just thought that we would give you the heads up” said Nori, eying the Ur clan. There seemed to be a weight of grief hanging over the four, denser then he had ever seen it. Nori felt sadness lace his own heart. He didn’t have to be told that something had happened to Bilba. Just looking at the Clan and seeing sadness when they should be radiate with joy was enough to tell Nori everything.  Dori seemed to draw this same conclusion.

“If you need anything, the Clan of Ri are here for you. Even if that is just as simple as running interference” said Dori solemnly.

Bifur was touched, he hadn’t expect this. But Bombur and Ravora exchanged warm smiles with Dori. To the married couple it was no surprise that the Clan of Ri was on their side.

“We are honored” said Bifur extending his arm. Dori was slightly surprised at this action, it was an action that usually was not done. But Dori didn’t hesitate in grabbing the offered forearm. Bifur clasped it firmly and pulled Dori in and using his other arm brought Dori’s forehead to meet his own. Dori’s arm immediately came up and mirrored the action. The two clans were shocked.

As head of the Ur Clan, Bifur had just adopted the Ri Clan as brother-in-arms. And returning the gesture as head of the Ri Clan, Dori had accepted. For better or for worse, the Clan of Ri would stand with the Clan of Ur in any conflict.

Dori and Bifur had barely broken apart when the door was thrown open and King Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror was standing in the door way breathing heavy.

Bifur face immediately grew hard, “Get out” he growled, wishing that he had his boar spear in his hand instead of sitting it beside the door with Bofur mattock.

“I know she’s here” Thorin said. “I want to see her.”

“You are not going to see her” growled Bifur.  “You may be King, but I am head of this clan.”

Thorin glared, “I am not leaving until I speak with her, no matter where she hides” he hissed pushing past Bifur to get to the main part of the hall. He wouldn’t allow Bilba to hide, he needed to tell her how sorry he was, and how much he loved her and beg for her forgiveness.

He wasn’t expecting for Bifur to grab his shoulder and forced him to turn around. As soon as he was turned, Bifur threw a punch. Thorin brought up his arm to block the punch. But Bifur seemed to fall into a battle frenzy, striking Thorin hard and fast. Thorin returned the punches and soon an all-out brawl was occurring. Members of the Company surged in the room and tried to pull the two combatants apart. But neither Thorin nor Bifur were having any of that. With all the jostling none noticed when Thorin was pushed back knocking Gloin into the kitchen table causing it to overturn. No one except for Bofur noticed as the box that had been on the table falling to the floor. Bofur shoving Oin aside leaped and managed to catch the box containing his niece before it could hit the floor.

“Stop this!” yelled Ravora as she caught sight of her children standing in the door frame looking at the scene with wide eyes. At the sound of her voice everyone froze, as they noticed the children staring at them with frightened eyes.

Ori immediately pushed past Fili and Kili “Hey lets go back to the room” he said softly as he herded the children back to their rooms. They didn’t need to see what was occurring in the other room.

Seeing that her children were taken care of Ravora turned back to the problem at hand. “Now let’s settle this like civilized adults” she said coming between the two dwarfs. Bifur’s eyes were immediately downcasted ashamed of his behavior in his brother’s home. But Thorin looked furious, his eyes were hard, one already swelling shut. Bifur had centered his attack at the Royal’s face, and had succeed in causing a lot of damage. He opened his mouth to yell, but Ravora’s hand came up and slapped him.

Everyone in the room blinked in surprise, the slap from the usual gentle dwarrowdam had Thorin speechless as a hand immediately came up to cup his check. “First you have the nerve to enter my home with no invitation, then you dare to try to enter my sister's bedroom without permission. She is in no condition to see you King Under the Mountain, she might never be ready to see you again. I want you out of my home and I don’t want to hear about you trying to make contact with Bilba until she is ready to face you. Am I clear Thorin Oakenshield”

Thorin could only nod in shock. Bifur’s eyes twinkled at his sister-in-law, before he caught sight of Bofur on the ground clutching at the casket and he realized during the scuffle they had knocked the kitchen table over. Bifur shoved Thorin out of the way and flew to Bofur side, kneeling down he put a hand of the box.

“Is she okay?” he asked fearfully.

“I caught her before she hit the floor” answered Bofur, transferring the box to Bifur’s arm. The Company exchanged looks, not understanding the scene before them. They didn’t understand why Bifur was handling the box like it was a great treasure, only Nori felt a stab of dread curling up his spine. The urge to flee was strong, Nori hadn’t survived years as a thief without an instinct about when the floor was going to drop out from under you.

“What is that?” asked Kili breaking the tension in the air. All the Ur’s spine straightened at these words.

Bifur turned slowly to face Thorin once again. In a smooth motion he stood on his feet and walked into the center of the room and placed the box carefully on the ground and slowly backed away. “See for yourselves” he said softly, staring into Thorin’s eyes.

Thorin took a step forward until he was standing above the box, Thorin who had been holding Bifur’s gaze finally dropped it and looked down. It was a plain wooden box as far as he could tell, his eyes skimmed the top of the box and froze as he realized what was written there.

“No, no” he denied stumbling back from the box as if burnt. It had to be a lie, this couldn’t be true. He and Bilba had only made love once, the night they had reclaimed the mountain. It was the day he had proposed to her and gave her the first courting give, the mithrial coat and braided the engagement bead into her hair. He had ripped both from her that day at the wall.

The members of the Company were all shocked as they edged forward to see what had disturbed the King. A look of complete devastation graced Fili and Kili’s face as they realized what the box was. A cousin, a girl cousin at that. The two brothers immediately understood why the Clan of Ur was dead set against Thorin seeing Bilba. Their Mother Dis had lost a child about a decade after Kili’s birth. Thorin had been away, finding work among men. Even though Kili had been extremely young, he still remembered the sorrow their Mother carried with her. Their Father Vili had passed two months before Dis lost the baby. 

At first the babe had been a spot of happiness for Dis, one final piece of her husband that had been gifted to her. But for some reason, Mahal had seen fit to bring the baby back to him before it could be born. Dis had shut herself off from everyone when that happened, except for the boys. It had been a difficult time for their family, a time that Thorin, nor anyone else knew nothing about. Dis never told Thorin of the miscarriage. The brother only knew too well what Bilba must be going through.

“Now you see Thorin what your arrogance, your pride, and your damn love for a stone has cost you!” yelled Bifur glaring at the King.

“I didn’t know” said Thorin weakly, sounding pathetic even to his own ears. All he could see was the box before him, the box that mocked him with what was inscribed on the lid. A child, his child lay within.

Bifur arms came and gripped his furs and brought him close, until they were only a breath away. “No you do not get to feel sorry for yourself, you don’t deserve to feel sorry for yourself. That is not your child, you gave up any claim you had on her the moment you tried to kill Bilba, and broke your courtship. She was a child of the Clan of Ur, of the Broadbeam Line. My sister gave birth to her in the night, all alone and was forced to bury her child in a shallow grave. Do you want to know why my King?” whispered Bifur. “Because she had been taken captive by Orcs! They came across her disorientated and wounded from the Battle of the Five Armies and decided to keep her. For all these months she has been captive to Orcs.”

With that Bifur let go and pushed him away. “And it’s all your FAULT.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am fully convinced if I ever get around to writing my own book I'm going to be the author who kills there characters because agnst is so much fun to write. Hope you enjoyed and Happy New Year!


	7. Chapter 7

The whole room was silent after Bifur admission. A grief like none other swept over everybody in the room. For many in the Company they couldn’t get the picture of what Bifur had said out of their mind, of Bilba digging a shallow grave in the night. They, who had been enjoying life, reuniting with their families and rebuilding their home, while a member of their family had been alone and terrified. They had ignored the empty seat at the Company’s table.

They convinced themselves that she was someplace safe and happy, perforable back in the Shire. But now they knew how wrong they were.

“I think it would be best Thorin if we left” said Balin coming to his King’s side and gently touched his elbow.

Thorin opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. Balin watched as the proud set to his shoulders slumped. It seemed as if he had aged in just a few moments. He didn’t resist as Balin pulled him out of the door and back towards the royal wings. Many members of the Company hesitated in following them. But one glance at the Ur Clan and the box had them following Thorin out the door. Until it was just the Ur and Ri Clans left.

“Well” said Dori as he surveyed the mess. He had envisioned many different scenarios, but this was not one of them. The Dwarf began to do what he did best and began to fuss around the apartment, picking up the mess that had been caused. Moments later Ravora began to help them.

Nori did the opposite as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a flask and took a swig. The whiskey burned a path to his stomach. He then wiped the top and offered the flask to Bifur, who was still breathing harshly from his emotional outburst.

“Here, you need this.”

Bifur took the flask and downed the rest of the contents in a single drink. The burn of the alcohol going down his throat cleared some of the battle haze that had invaded his mind after he had punched Thorin in the face.

How dare he just march in here and demand to see Bilba. His blood still boiled, but exploding would do no one any good. He gave a long sigh, letting all the anger go and handed the flask back to Nori. He then knelt down and picked up the box. So small, his palm covered the entire width of the box.

He hated that he had to use her this way. How disrespectful it was to just put her on display. But a part of him wanted to hurt Thorin like he had hurt Bilba. But he should not have used his niece to accomplish it.

He turned when he felt a hand on his elbow. Lifting his eyes he met the eyes of his sister in law.

“Let me show you to your room,” she said gently.

Bifur allowed himself to be led further into the hall, until they reached a blue door. There was a yellow door further down, next to a green, an orange, and a mixture of purples.

“This is your room, the yellow is Bofur’s, Bilba’s is the green. The Orange door leds to Bombur’s and I’s room, and the purple doors are the children’s” explained Ravora as she opened the door.  “I’m going to check on Bilba, why don’t you freshen up a bit before coming back into the kitchen” she said gently.

Bifur could hear the unspoken words, he needed time to collect himself from the emotional outburst he had. Bifur nodded and slipped into the suite, holding the box tightly in his grip. The room was very large. Done in dark blues and greens, there was a large bed on the far wall, opposite the huge fireplace where a fire had been lit. There were two doors that Bifur assumed was the bathroom and closet, but he did go exploring. He walked over to the bed and sat down before gently setting the box beside him.

It was here behind these stone walls that for a moment he let his own wall break. Silent tears ran down his face as he let out shaking breaths. He clenched his hands onto fists on top of his thighs. These tears were tears of frustration, of grief, and of sorrow roll down his face unchecked.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours as Bifur allowed all the emotions he was feeling the past few days to pour out. Tears of grief, shame, guilt, anger, exhaustion, and acceptance poured down his face.

Bifur accepted he had failed on his Clan’s most vulnerable members. Failed her so many times since they first entered her home in Bag End. He felt the shame well up in him like a knife, cutting a wound so deep, he doubted that it would ever heal. He knew that the most appropriate thing to do would be to shave his beard and present it to Bilba. But in her current mental condition he did not want her to think that he cut it because it was her fault. Bifur would have to wait until his sister was firmly on the road of recovery before he expressed his shame. The only thing he could do now was to allow her to get the rest and quiet she deserved. Even if that did mean another few rounds with his King. He had failed her so much, that the least he could do was make sure that her last request be followed.

The Ur Clan would all make sure of that, as would the Ri Clan. He did not doubt their honor, though many other dwarrows would. Though the Ri Clan had ties to Durin and had some nobility in their blood, they were looked done upon because their connection to Durin comes from the wrong side of bed sheets generations ago.  The Ri Clan was further looked down upon because of the fact all three brothers had different Father, and not one was their Mother’s One. But not everyone was as lucky as Bombur and Ravora in that respect.

There was also the fact that Nori had been a thief. It being one of the few ways he could support his brother’s in the Blue Mountains. Bifur didn’t know how the situation was now since after the quest. But the Ur and Ri Clans had always been friends to one another. Nori and Bofur had been thick as thieves growing up. It was an honor and a privilege to have the Brothers standing next to their side.

Finally the tears slowly stopped leaking from his eyes, leaving Bifur feeling slightly hollow, but better. He slowly walked to the bathroom and splashed water on his red and puffy face. The water washing all the evidence of his deed made him feel even lighter, as if some of his sins had also been washed away. Finally looking in the mirror he was slightly surprised at the wild looking dwarf looking back at him. It was a wonder that Bombur even recognized him. Bifur quickly rolled up his sleeves and filled the sink with water, determined to at least look presentable before he went back to the others.

Meanwhile….

“Ori, why was Uncle Bifur attacking the King?” asked Mya, Bombur’s third eldest, and his oldest daughter. Unlike the rest of the Bombur’s bunch, Mya looked more like her uncles than either her mother or father. Her hair was a deep brown color, with brown eyes. She was easy to find in the various red and chestnut hair siblings she had. And like her Uncle Bofur, preferred to have braided in pigtails.

Ori struggled to find the correct answer as he chewed on his lip as six pairs of eyes focused on him.  It wasn’t his place to reveal anything about the situation to the children. Plus from what he saw, he defiantly didn’t want to get on Bifur’s bad side. Ori had forgotten how ferocious the Broadbeam could be in a fight.

Finally he decided to just tell the children the barest of truths. “The King did something very bad, and your Uncle Bifur got very mad at him because of it.”

“Is Momma going to make them set in the time out corners?” asked Benjur, his green eyes looking questionable up at the young scribe.

Ori managed to choke down his giggle at the thought of seeing the King Under the Mountain sitting in the corner, with Bifur in the other. “Maybe” he said instead, “Your Mother is quite fierce.”

“She’s the fiercest dwarrowdam in the mountain” proclaimed Bonifis, swinging a wooden sword at Benjur, who quickly rolled out of the way.

Ori did not say anything. He was not about to get into an argument with a dwarfling over who was the fiercest dwarrowdam. Ravora was fierce, but she never scared the scribe the way Lady Dis did. He thought Thorin was scary when he was angry. It was nothing compared to the fact of what happened when Lady Dis returned to the mountain and had learned all of what had happened on and after the Quest.

Around him, a mock battle began to play out and Ori managed to successfully to withdrawl himself and close the door behind him. It had been some time since he had heard a sound coming from the main rooms. When he reached the kitchen he was not surprised to find just the Ur and Ri clans sitting around the table. The smell of tea was strong in the room, and Ori seeing a bottle on the counter, suspected the cups of tea were also quite strong.

Ori dared not ask any questions as he slid into the empty chair next to Dori. Everyone except for Bifur was at the table.  Ori sneaked glances at the people present, all of them looking older than they had been ten minutes ago, and the same feeling of grief that had been present earlier was stronger. He was surprised when Dori stood only moments later and filled his own cup, and a cup for Ori with tea and a generous helping of the liquid in the bottle. Ori suddenly knew that whatever had been discussed after he had left must have been seriously if Dori was offering him a cup of spiked tea.

Ori slowly sipped the tea, waiting for someone else to break the silence that had fallen around them.

“He will be back” said Nori finally breaking the silence. “He might wait a few weeks, but he will be back before she is ready to face him.”

Bombur and Bofur sighed in unison. “We might need a secret way out of this Mountain Nori, because I’m not stopping Bifur if he kills the Thorin this time around” said Bofur very seriously.

Nori nodded back seriously. Though he prayed to Mahal that it never came to that, he would make sure his family-in-arms had an escape route. But he would also take the precaution of talking to Thorin himself, he might even involve Dis in it. Thorin had to realize that he was not in charge of this situation, he would never be in charge of this. His authority was worthless as soon as he stepped over the threshold of Bombur’s hall.

“We might have to bring Dis into this” said Ravora from her spot next to Bombur.

“We take care of our own” came the voice of Bifur as he entered the kitchen looking better than he had. Months’ worth of dirt and dust had been washed off his face, and the rat nest of hair and beard had been brushed out.

“I’m not saying that we ask her here” said Ravora gently as Bifur sat next to her. “I’m saying that we take to her about controlling Thorin. He might listen to her.”

Bifur looked like he wanted to argue against it, but even he could see the wisdom of going to the Princess.

Feeling like they were now over extending their visit, Dori finished his tea and gentle set it down on the table before looking at his brothers who seemed to get the message as they also set down their teacups.

“We should get going” said Dori. “If there is anything you need, don’t be hesitate to ask” he said sincerely.

“Thank-you Dori, we shall come if we are in need” said Ravora smiling at the dwarf.

Dori turned, but stopped when Bifur spoke. “There is something that you can do for us, directions.  I have to see about returning Tovatűnt to stone” said Bifur gently. “I have to see she rests in peace.”

 The missing piece clicked into place for Ori as he heard those words from Bifur. There was no doubt that Bifur was talking about a child, and the only person who could have had that child, Bilba.  A wave of intense sadness filled the young dwarf.  It also shed new light on how Bifur and Bofur reacted when Thorin had entered the Hall.

Dori gently reached out and touched Bifur on the arm. “I will take you there Bifur” said Dori softly.

“Thank-you” said Bifur truthfully. Dori smiled and gently bowed at the rest of the Ur Clan before leading the way out of the Hall. Ravora, Bombur, and Bofur were all who were left in the kitchen when a terrified scream rang through the hall.

“Bilba” whispered Bofur, as a second scream rang through the hall. Bofur jumped to his feet, not caring that he knocked his chair to the floor as he raced down the hall where the screams were coming from. Bombur not far behind him.

~o_o~

_It was the night it all went wrong. Outside the cave thunder shook the earth and lightening filled the sky. Bilba wasn’t aware of any of this as pain rippled from her stomach down. Biba bit her forearm as the pain intensified every couple of minutes. She soon had the taste of blood filling her mouth, but she dared not make a sound, very aware of the dozen orcs laying only feet from her._

_For hours the pain intensified and finally her baby was born. But her baby was not stillborn like she expected, no it gave a mighty cry. Bilba tried in vain to quiet her, but the little babe refused to be quieted. Bilba could only watch in fear as the Orcs woke up from their deep sleep._

_Bilba tried in vain to curl around the babe, but the orcs just laughed and pulled her from that position. Bilba watched in horror as her babe was snatched from her, the Orcs continued to laugh as she tried to lunge for her babe. Only to be pulled up short by the collar, but that didn’t stop her from trying. Tears flowed from her eyes._

_“Please, please, do whatever you want with me but please give me back my babe” she cried, begging for the first time since she had been captured._

_The lead Orc smiled at her, all fangs. “No”_

_Bilba could only watch as the Orc brought the squalling babe to his mouth._

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she screamed. Her eyes flew open and met with an eyeful of stone ceiling and the weight of something around her neck. The sound of Orcs running towards her reached her ears and Bilba scrambled to get away. Her knees connected painfully with the floor, she could see daylight if only she could reach it.

In her distress she failed to see the room she was in, or the doors she forced open to reveal the outside. Just being outside, out of the stone walls helped calm her racing heart down. She didn’t notice that she was lying in a blanket of snow, or the blood that ran down her arm staining the snow beneath her. Bilba didn’t notice anything but the racing of her heart and the images her brain twisted.

She failed to notice Bombur and Bofur standing in the doorway. Bofur was struck by the sight of Bilba. She was kneeling in the snow, her head bowed. The wind from the snow storm whipped her hair around her face, intermingling with the snowflakes that fell steadily. A small trail of blood dotted the freshly fallen snow. Bilba seemed to sway with the breeze, following an unheard melody. ** It was a haunting sight.

Bofur motioned for Bombur to stay inside as he slowly approached Bilba. “Bilba, Bilba,” he softly called his worries increased when she didn’t respond.

He gently kneeled down in front of her, uncaring of the snow that started to wet his pants. Bilba didn’t acknowledge him, just kept looking at a point in the snow. Bofur grew more worried when he gently touched her hands and she made no response. Blood was slowly flowing from fresh bite marks on her bare forearm.

“Oh sis, come on honey, let’s get you cleaned up” he said gently, picking her up bridal style. But as soon as Bofur tried to go back inside the mountain, Bilba began to struggle violently. “No, no, no, no, no” she whispered, her eyes blown wide with fear.

Bofur slowly stepped back into the open, and Bilba calmed down. Once she was calm Bofur once again tried to enter the mountain, only to have once again a squirming Bilba in his arms. It then hit him like a ton of bricks. It was the mountain that was freaking her out, the stone walls.

Bofur wished he did not have to force Bilba back inside, but he could not stay outside. The snow was already coming down heavier , Erebor was experiencing its first full blown blizzard of the season.

“I’m sorry Bilba” whispered Bofur as he held onto Bilba as she struggled, going right inside. Bofur waited until Bombur had closed the glass doors leading to the balcony before he turned and set Bilba as close to the doors as possible, so she could see the sky and the snow instead of the rock walls.

“Bombur get me some bandages” ordered Bofur. Bombur quickly went into the bathroom and gathered the necessary supplies. When he came back he was not surprised to see Bofur still kneeling next to Bilba who was silently rocking back and forth as she hugged her knees, her face buried in her knees.

Bofur was whispering calming things to her, but it did not appear to be working. As he got closer he noticed tremors were running up her frame, though Bombur did not know if it was because of the cold, or because of the evident nightmare that she must have had. Setting the supplies down next to Bofur, Bombur turned around and fetched a blanket from the bed. Going back he carefully laid the blanket across Bilba’s shoulders.

Bofur had managed to extract Bilba’s right arm from her knees and was now dressing the new wounds that littered her forearm. Blood was still slowly pulsing out of the bite marks. Bofur carefully patted the blood off before taking some of the ointment Bombur had brought and smeared a little on the wounds. By the time Bofur had wrapped the bandages, Bilba had managed to pull herself together and was silently watching her.

“There you are” said Bofur gently, trying to smile but knowing he failed.

At the sight of Bofur trying to smile while the dream was still so fresh in her mind was the last straw for Bilba as silent tears began to run down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So the haunting melody that I thought of when I wrote this scene was from a video I found on Youtube. The video, Wolfsong by Wellington Andrade is a beautiful piece of music and storytelling. The oboe part in it is so beautiful, though I warn you it is very, very sad, I always cry when I watch it. But basically 2:51 through the end is what I was thinking of when I wrote that scene.


	8. Chapter 8

Thorin paced back and forth in his study, his mind rebelling about what he had learned.  A daughter, he had had a daughter. And he was the cause that she was not here now. His traitors mind already provided pictures of what she would have looked like. In his mind she looked just like her Mother, with the same curls and beautiful smile. He would have fauned over her, made sure that she wouldn’t have wanted for nothing. Most of all Bilba would have been by his side, shaking her head at his antics. They would have been a family.

Balin and Dwalin watched their King pace. Neither said anything. What was there to say in this situation. Even Balin, with all his knowledge did not know what to say. How could you say something when faced with something so horrible. The knowledge that while they had been celebrating the success of reclaiming Erebor, Bilba had been suffering horribly and apparently still did so.

She had been carrying Thorin’s heir, a princess. As rare as girls were to the race of dwarves, females born into the line of Durin was even rarer. Dis had been the first girl born into the line of Durin for almost five generations.

It would be a blow for all the dwarves in the mountain when the news of Thorin’s heir was dead, even though the mother was Bilba Baggins. Thorin was one of the most beloved Kings that Balin had ever seen in his lifetime. Since reclaiming Erebor Thorin had thrown himself into making the Kingdom great again. That included making sure that her people were well taken care of. Out of his own share of the treasure, Thorin helped the women and children that came to the mountain for a better life. Making sure that they had a place to call home, and enough money to last them until they found their feet. Thorin focused on reopening the mines so that the great forges would again work feats of wonder, as well as making teams reopen sections of houses to house the growing population. He ignored the Lords and other noble dwarves that demanded the King to focus on unearthing pointless rooms that held long lost treasures deemed a necessity by the same Lords. But Thorin had focused on the common folk and they loved him for it.

Many of the people wanted to see their King happy, and many thought the way to achieve that would be for Thorin to take a wife. The story of the King’s brief engagement to Bilba was not common knowledge outside the Company. Even less so that Bilba was Thorin’s One.

Minutes passed with no words spoken. The silence only broken with the crackling of fire that burned merrily in the fireplace and Thorin’s movements, until he suddenly stopped.

With a roar that made everybody in the room jump at the suddenness of it, Thorin slammed Orcrist on top of a side table that had been at the end of the couch Gloin and Oin were sitting at.

“Why!” he demanded no one in particular. “Why her! Why did she have to pay for my sins! Why did my daughter have to pay the price! It should have been me, I should have been the one to suffer for what happened because of the Dragon Sickness. Why would Mahal see fit to allow this to happen!”

With those shouted words the fight seemed to have gone out of Thorin and he crashed to his knees, hands clutching his hair as great racking sobs tore through his chest.

But even as he sobbed, Thorin knew that whatever pain he was feeling it was nothing compared to Bilba, nothing compared to the suffering she had experienced at his hands and those of the Orcs. And made his sobs hurt even worse.

Unnoticed by the Company in Thorin’s rooms, Fili and Kili were not among their number. They had not returned once Thorin had been kicked out of Bombur’s halls. Instead they had ran through the mountain searching for the only person who would comfort them instead of telling them to be strong. That as Princes of Erebor they had to bottle their feelings up. No they turned to the one person besides Bilba that never demanded they be anything else besides her sons.

They found her in her royal suits, taking a break from her duties as Princess Under the Mountain. Which mainly consisted of dealing with the Elven negotiations and keeping the Council and her brother from killing each other.

Dis knew something immediately was wrong as her boys threw themselves at her, something they hadn’t done since they were dwarflings and the nasty talk of Kili being part elf had been going around the dwarven children. Dis did not count the time when she had been reunited with them a few months ago. She had thrown herself at them, seeing them both alive had been a blessing.

“Fili, Kili what is the matter?” demanded Dis as her boys clung to her.

“It’s all wrong Mother,” said Kili, and Dis could hear the tears in eyes. “Everything is messed up.”

Fili had yet to say anything but Dis could feel him shaking in her arms. And she knew that something terrible had to have happened. Her little gold lion never got this upset, unlike his brother he usually kept his emotions such as pain and grief close to his chest. He had been the strong one after their Father had passed and during the time that Dis did not think about in the months following.

“What is it? Is it your Uncle?” she demanded.

Kili shook her head no. “It’s Bilba, she’s come back to the Mountain” he whisperd.

Dis froze, she had heard about the hobbit that had stolen her brother’s heart. She had tracked down every member of the Company and demanded all the knowledge they had possessed of the hobbit woman. Dis knew that Bilba Baggins was a proper hobbit to begin with, a pain in the ass quoting Dwalin. But she had grown on the members of the Company, so much that the Ur Clan had officially adopted her. She was a kind and sweet thing that got along with every member of the Company. Her romance with Thorin had been glacial slow. Her brother’s attempts at courting had been most amusing and so painfully earnest. After the dragons defeat he had proposed and she had accepted, a mail of mithril the last courtship gift. After that it had gone all downhill. The gold sickness had changed her brother, and when the hobbit had made a risky gamble in order to save his life. Thorin had attacked her, taking back the mirthril chain mail, and tearing out his bead from her hair. That was the last any of the Company had seen of her, though her boys swore she had saved their lives in the battle. A fact Nori had confirmed when he told her of the lasses footprints being around the sights of not only her sons last stand but also of Thorins. The Ur Clan had swept the entire battlefield looking for her, but she had never been found. Bifur and Bofur had left the mountain not long after that.

But with every interview she did with the Company, they all said the same thing by the end. They missed her and wished that she had stayed at Erebor, even Thorin in his own way showed Dis just how much he missed his lost love. So the question was why her boys were crying, and so upset that their hobbit had finally returned to them.

“I thought that is what you wanted, for her to return to the mountain” she said stroking their hair softly.

“Not like this, never like this” Fili whispered, his voice full of suppressed horror.

Hearing his voice like that caused a shiver to run up Dis’s spine. “Like what Fili?”

Her boys clung harder to her. “All these months Amad, since she left the mountain. Bibla has been captives of Orcs” whispered her little raven, before taking a shuddering breath. “She was pregnant with our cousin, a baby girl.”

“The Orcs caused her to have a miscarriage” finished Fili softly. “Bifur and Bofur found her and brought her back. Thorin rushed to see her when he heard the news, forced his way into Bombur’s Hall. Bifur and he fought and that’s how we all found out.”

Those words so softly spoken had Dis freezing in the motion of stroking her sons hair. Her mind struggling to process what her boys had just told her. She carefully pulled her sons away from her body to look at their red faces as tears streamed down their faces.

“Tell me exactly what happened” she ordered softly but firmly.

Between the two of them Fili and Kili told their Amad every detail of what had happened so little time ago. The boys watched as their mother’s face grew stern as they revealed more and more at what happened in Bombur’s halls.

“I will be having words with my brother” she murmured after her sons were done with the tale. It would not be a very pretty talk. Old secrets Dis had kept from her brother might finally be brought to the light. But Dis was willing to show that old hurt to protect the woman that would have been her sister-in-law. Dis knew her brother to well that he would try to see her well before Bilba was ready to face anyone. Thorin had to understand that he couldn’t do that.

But first she would have to send a note to Clan of Ur in apology for her brother’s actions and a request to meet with them. Neither the Ur Clan nor the ruling family could ignore what had happened. And since her brother could not be trusted to handle the affair correctly she would have to see to it.

* * *

 

Bifur stood behind Dori as he talked to the dwarf that was in charge of returning dwarves to the stone, Lorthen. It seemed that Smaug did relatively little damage to this part of the mountain. Unfortunately it seemed as busy as other parts of the restoration as the dwarves that had been trapped by the dragon were still being returned to the stone.

“A child, recently deceased?” asked Lorthen

Dori nodded, “Yes, her mother was on the journey here and gave birth on the road. The babe did not make it and it is the wish of the Clan of Ur to have her returned to the stone.”

Lorthen’s grave face, grew graver to hear that the child lost was a girl child. “I am sorry for your loss” he said looking at Bifur.

Bifur gave a nod in acceptance.

“I will be able to have the ceremony performed in two days time. I am sorry that it cannot be sooner, but we are still dealing with victims of the dragon and the battle and their families have been waiting a long time.”

Bifur nodded, “We understand, my Clan will be grateful that it done soon.”

Lorthen looked relieved that Bifur did not argue angrily like some Lords did when were told they would have to wait. Pulling a clean sheet of paper and a quill he looked up at Bifur. “Now what would you like written on the stone?”

“Rest in peace, Tovatűnt daughter of Bilba Baggins of the Clan Ur, of the BroadBeam Line” Bifur said softly.

Lorthen chose not to react to the name of Bilba Baggins. He was of the minority that believed Bilba Baggiins was a hero for trying to make peace with the men and elves. Yes she had taken the Arkenstone, but it was with the understanding that the stone would be returned once an alliance had been formed.

“Anything else on the stone Lord Bifur, carvings, gems?”  asked Lorthen.

Bifur motioned for Lorthen to give him the paper and with gentle strokes drew twisting vines of leaves with flowers around the inscription, a pick ax on the top, and a large tree at the bottom. “If you could carve this and perhaps fill in the tree and vines with emeralds. The flowers filled in with rubies, amethyst, opals, purple crystals, but not sapphires. I do not want a speck of blue on it, or gold” said Bifur handing the paper back to Lorthen.

“I think that can be arranged” replied Lorthen. The dwarf would personally see to it that the top of the tomb was exactly how Lord Bifur had described. It was obvious to Lorthen that Lord Bifur was trying to honor both the hobbit and dwarf cultures. Because it was not the dwarf way to put plants on a tomb.

“Good” spoke up Dori, he started to reach for his money pouch when Lorthen stopped him.

“I will accept no payment for this deed” he said solemnly. “It would be an dishonor to accept payment to return the daughter of the Hero of Erebor who reclaimed this mountain and returned it to all of us dwarves. I cannot go the Halls of our Fathers with that deed on my soul.”

Both Dori and Bifur were shocked, neither had expected that sort of response. Bifur was the first to recover and he bowed deeply at the dwarf. “You do your ancestor’s proud Lorthen son of Chohen. I am honored. If there is anything in the future that you need, call upon me and I shall come.”

Lorthen blinked, he had not expected that. “Thank-you Lord Bifur.”

Bifur nodded, “We shall see you in two days then Lorthen.”

“Yes after the fourth bell.”

Dori held back, “Lorthen, I ask you that complete discretion be used. Lady Baggins had been through a lot and burying her daughter will be hard on her. I do not want the whole mountain trying to catch a glance at her grief.”

“I understand Lord Dori. No one will learn of this from me. But as you know that all burials are published so that everyone can come and pay their respects.”

Dori nodded, “I understand.”

Dori turned and left to catch up to Bifur. In three days’ time, the whole mountain will learn that Bilba Baggins had returned and that she had lost a child It would only a matter of time before someone connected it back to the possibility that one of the Company was the Father. And Dori knew when that day came, the whole Mountain would fall into utter chaos with the Ur Clan at the center and Ri Clan by being shield brothers. It would be up to them to protect Bilba from the backlash.

But it was a relief to find out that there were some dwarves like Lorthen that believed Bilba was a hero of Erebor. They would need such allies like that. Because Dori was not stupid. Though Thorin might have recanted her banishment and her status of a traitor. The old Lords of Erebor were going to demand to make an example of her. They would want to put her on trial for the theft of the Arkenstone, and there was nothing any of the Company could do to stop it. Not even the King could stop it if he wanted it to.

Justice was something not even the King could circumvent in Erebor. Bilba would have to explain her choices to a panel of judges, nothing would be left untouched. The circumstances of Tovatűnt conception and death would most likely be brought up in the court.

It broke Dori’s heart to know that Bilba would be forced to speak of it to a room full of strangers that will be looking down at her for being traitor and the fact she wasn’t a dwarf.  He could only hope that he was just overreacting and that it would not come down to that. The walk back to the halls was silent, neither having nothing to say to break the somber mood. Until they had reached Bombur’s hall.

“Thank-you Dori” said Bifur softly.

“No thanks needed Bifur, I wish this hadn’t been necessary” said Dori sadly.

Bifur sighed, “I wish that as well.”

Dori could see the weight of grief bearing down on Bifur’s shoulders, the guilt. Dori didn’t hesitate to pull Bifur in and clunk their heads together softly. Dori silently willing some of his immense strength to flow into Bifur.

“Take care Bifur, and take care of her” said Dori as he broke the embrace. “I will see you tomorrow.”

Bifur caught his arm before he could leave. “You will be there, your clan when we return Tovatűnt to the stone?”

Dori hoped that he and his brothers would be allowed to attend to support Bilba. But he didn’t dare to ask Bifur for that honor. “We will be their Bifur.”

“Good.”

The two parted ways after that Dori heading towards his own Halls as Bifur entered Bombur’s halls.

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea for a while decided to finally write it.


End file.
